As Someone Who Can Legally Marry, I Am Embarassed By The Bigotry In CA On Prop 8.


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I am going to go a little off-topic today because this is an important human rights issue. For those of you paying attention, California voters chose to ban gay marriage last week by a very slim margin. Proposition 8 is defined as:

A California State ballot proposition that would amend the state Constitution to restrict the definition of marriage to a union between a man and a woman.

Yep, California voters chose to actually change the Constitution to make it against the law for gay people to marry each other. Against the law. For two people who love each other to get married. How shameful.

Let me talk about a few things here…First of all, I really dislike the term “gay marriage” – it’s just “marriage”. My wife and I didn’t call our marriage a “straight marriage”; it’s just marriage, thank you very much. Second of all, this crap about the “sanctity” of marriage – what sanctity is involved when 50% of all marriages end in divorce? Third of all, marriage is not a religious ceremony. Sure, most people make it that way, which is fine, but you know what makes you “legally” married? A marriage license from the state, not from the church. I am legally married and we did not have a religious ceremony. And lastly, what are the opponents of gay people getting married so scared of? What exactly will happen if a happy couple, who happens to be of the same sex, gets married? Will the sun stop rising? Will our water supply become tainted? Will we run out of oil? Will straight people stop getting married? What will happen?


Well, other than the fact that a percentage of the population will be equal to the rest of us in their ability to get legally married. Gay people just want the same rights that the rest of us are entitled to – what’s next, we outlaw black people becoming President or a woman’s right to the vote? People who wish to be hateful and spiteful of another human because of sexual orientation are just sad – where do they get off thinking that they can tell other people what they can and cannot do with their lives? Don’t they have anything more pressing to worry about in their own life? How would you like it if someone told you that you couldn’t get married because you were born with brown hair? Or blue eyes? You wouldn’t like it too much, as you don’t have control over how you were born. Well, I have news for you – neither do gay people. Oh, I know these bigots like to think that being gay is a choice, but really – if that were the case, who would choose to be gay and face such hatred from other people? Anyone?

This topic always gets me heated, and for good reason – it’s a human rights issue. Gay, straight, brown, black, white, tall, short, man, woman, child – we are all equal humans, even if some don’t think so. And we should all have the same rights. The bigots who are against gays getting married often proclaim that being gay and gays getting married is against their religion, and to that I ask them to have a look through whatever book they read and to look for a sentence that looks kind of like this one and try to match that up with the belief that gays should not be able to marry:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Unless of course you can take away the rights of gay people, that is…then it’s OK. We do not live in a theocracy – religion is not law, the Constitution is – and it says that we are all guaranteed equal protection under the law. All of us, no matter what.

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  1. Thank you for this. I think that while Nov 4th was a big day for our country, the propositions that got passed in 3 states against gay marriage show we still have a long way to go. Florida was another state with a proposition. I saw “One Man, One Woman” signs and bumper stickers all over the place. FL needed 60% to pass and got 62%. It was very discouraging to see that. Someday, history will look back at us today. My grandkids will be asking me about that time when we didn’t give gays equal rights and want to know how I felt. I will be proud to tell them I was for equal rights for all. I also want to say that I appreciate that you stated your opinion here without being ugly against those that support this. Other posts I have read around the blog world end up being as full of hatred as those they are lashing out against.

  2. Well said. My husband and I were married in our backyard and received criticism from some of our family members for not having our ceremony in a church. Unfortunately, some people think the thing that is good for them, is the ONLY way. I am extremely dissapointed that Prop 8 was passed. When our population can look past people’s exterior, and look at the makeup of a person, we will realize that we are all on the same team. Gay, Straight, Bi, Republican, Democrat, Independant……we’re all human, and our human race needs to work together to get through this thing called LIFE!!!

  3. I live in Los Angeles and am embarassed that this proposition passed. It is just plain wrong to deny people their civil rights.

  4. Good for you for writing this! I think Prop 8 demeans the institution of marriage by making it about politics and discrimination instead of love and commitment and I don’t understand why everyone isn’t outraged.

  5. This is an issue that is very near and dear to my heart. As the child of two people who can’t legally marry, I thank you for your show of support. Prop 8 deeply saddened me on November 4th. I’m hoping that California will come around, sooner rather than later. Of course, I’d like my state (New York) to come around soonest!

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