Your Contract With Life On Earth.

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Republished with permission from The Earth Blog, which I recommend you check out when you get a chance!

Owing to exceptional ecological conditions currently occurring on Earth, all humans are required to read and sign the following contract in order to secure their continued tenancy on Earth. Failure to do so will result in the withdrawal of all ecological benefits. Alternatively you may consider leaving the planet altogether in search of a place more welcoming of your activities.

GLOBAL TENANCY AGREEMENT

BETWEEN:

(1) All non-human inhabitants of planet Earth, hereafter known as “Life”; and

(2) The human signatory of this agreement, or his or her agreed representative (as agreed by the individual rather than any “legal” imposition), hereafter known as “The Tenant”.

1. This tenancy agreement forms a binding contract between the two parties. Failure of The Tenant to fulfil their agreed obligations will result in the termination of the agreement and removal of him or her from the global ecosystem.

2. Tenancy means inclusion within the global ecosystem, subject to all appropriate energy flows both to and from The Tenant, including the use of organic and formerly organic substances and the production of waste matter whether directly or indirectly, from and to all global biomes, until the end of the natural term of species occupation, or the termination of the species by other means outside of the control of the global ecosystem.

TENANT’S OBLIGATIONS:

3. The Tenant agrees to only take from the global ecosystem that which is necessary for survival; this may include those things necessary in order to ensure a reasonable level of physical and mental well-being, whilst not breaching any other clause.

4. The Tenant shall not carry out any activities, through accident or design, which cause the net loss of any natural habitat for more than a period of one year, excepting that such habitat may require a greater period of time to naturally regenerate.

5. The Tenant shall not cause the net increase of any Toxic materials into the biosphere, bathosphere, atmosphere or lithosphere. “Toxic” means any substance (gas, liquid, plasma or solid), which causes an impairment in the ability of a natural process to function normally.

6. The Tenant agrees to abide by the laws of nature, not acting in any way such as to remodel or alter the genetic or chemical makeup of any organism except where existing natural processes are utilised to such ends.

7. The Tenant shall treat all life as equal, and in doing so respect the function of all life forms within the global ecosystem. In accepting the presence of Clauses 3 and 4, The Tenant shall treat the death of and/or damage to all life forms with an appropriate level of respect and reverence.

SIGNED:

Tenant: ”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦ Date: ”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦

Representative of Life: ”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦ Date: ”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦”¦

THIS CONTRACT MAY ALSO BE DOWNLOADED BY CLICKING ON THE LINK BELOW:

GLOBAL TENANCY AGREEMENT DOWNLOAD

PLEASE RETURN YOUR SIGNED COPY FOR COUNTERSIGNING TO YOUR LOCAL ECOSYSTEM REPRESENTATIVE WITHIN ONE (1) MONTH. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHERE YOUR ECOSYSTEM IS, OR WHICH LIFE FORMS REPRESENT IT THEN IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT YOU LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR PLANET AND THE NATURAL SYSTEMS WITHOUT WHICH YOU WOULD NOT EXIST.

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Comments

  1. Of course not Sikantis, it’s only hyperbole. But unfortunately, most people just don’t care about the only planet we have. 🙂

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